YOU FORGOT TOO WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Today has been one of the most stressful days of my life so far!

I arrived for my appointment at the gynocology appointment, and for once i was seen early .... Good start right? Wrong! Everything just went tits up!! I saw my normal gyno, and i won't lie she is amazing! One of the only doctors who take me seriously, so im guess your wondering why im moaning?

On the 11th november i was admitted into hospital as i had excruciating pains, i was kept in for one week, and was told they suspect i have Endomitriosis aswell as PCOS. And was told i needed a lapraoscopy as soon as possible and they would write to me in the next week!

Did my gyno know any of this?? Of course not. Not only did they not write in my notes about my stay in the hospital, they also didn't add me to the list for surgery!

Not only was i heartbroken and utterly devastated, i felt so let down! And by the people who say they would take care of me the most!

Thankfully my parents have a back bone! I am a really strong lady, but recently everything has got me down, and i am so overwhelmed by everything, i just never know what to say!

My dad went ballistic, and i got very emotional and couldn't control my tears, he came across very strong and determmined, i was very proud of him. He said he has written a complaint for the hospitals incompetence, and he will be sending it to the NHS complaint department, the local MP, and the health minister in Downing Street!

I could feel no emotions, i was numb! My gyno added me to the urgent list, and i had all my tests done to make sure i am fit for surgery!

I'm really hoping nothing else happens, I've had enough of being fobbed off and taken for granted! Not only is it really upsetting me, my body cant handle it!

I've lost a stone and a half in 2 weeks, and i have no appetite, i am not eating so i have been put on complan shakes so i still get all my nutrients for the day! It is heart breaking.

I just hope every one else can lern from this. And i hope if you ever go to your doctors or the hospital, you make sure you pester them untill they do what there suppose to! Do not think yu are being a burden because you are not!! They just won't bother other wise!

Unfortunatly i learnt the hard way!

Good luck to you all!!!

Don't forget your Friends and Family

While going through the hardness and loneliness of PCOS and Endometriosis, I have learnt that it is so important not to forget who have stood by me every single day and night!

Of course there are days when all i want to do is be on my own, and they understand that thankfully, but some people don't understand quite so much, luckily i don't have that problem!

During my worst times i started to find out who my true friends were, and luckily for me so many people cared for me then i thought they did, i received so many e-mails, texts, cards and flowers, completely unexpected! 

I can happily say i have been so lucky, a lot more lucky then some unfortunate people who have had to deal with illnesses and certain circumstances alone! 

My friends, family and boyfriend have been the ones who have kept me going, if it wasn't for them i would be a complete mess every day and night! With almost perfect advice and amazing cuddles that are much needed, I feel a lot happier, of course the pain is still there, but when everyone makes me happy it just goes.

It goes to show pain really is in the mind! And if you learn to control it you really will be laughing *with the help of a few painkillers of course!* 

Over the past couple of months of suffering, i have learnt everything right now is not all about me! Everyone has there problems and no one can put there lives on hold just for me! What i have learnt through this is helping as many people with there problems has taken my mind off of mine!! And at the same time makes me feel like i have done a good deed!

So i thought i would write this post for my friends and family who have been there for me, and a thank you is certainly not enough! I have no idea on how to give thanks for the kindness and time they have given me! But i can say i love you, and appreciate everything! 

 

This is only going to be a short post!


For the past couple of days i've been crying non stop! 


Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Before Bed, When i wake up, I'm sure you've got the point!


I was really down in the dumps, and things were really starting to get out of hand, i didn't want to talk to nobody and stay in my room alone. Worst thing to do!


Enough was enough, mum dragged me out and said thats its were going shopping, i was in a lot of pain and to add to it all i had come on my period! She tried her best to cheer me up! Then out of the blue i decided i wanted to get my hair cut! 


That was one of the main things that was depressing me so much! It has been falling out, there was hair all over the house, and i was so humiliated when people would pick up on it and mention how dirty it is to have hair every where!


So they chopped it all off!! And do you know what? I'm so glad they did, i love it! It's like the Victoria Beckham bob! I didn't think it was going to suit me! But hurray! IT DOES!!


I honestly feel a million quid! So i suggest to any of you who are feeling low, do something different today, it doesn't have to cost anything, just something different from your normal routine! You won't believe how great it makes you feel! 


I'm definitely going to do something different every time i feel low!


Also don't forget all the choccy!! Yum yum!! We know all ladies need that when PMS decides to turn up at your door step!!

I Want to Be Back To Normal

Do you ever have them days when you feel so alone, yet your surrounded by people?

I feel like that today.

Right now i feel like i cant speak to anybody, so i'll have to write.

It's completely out of character for me to be in a depressed state of mind, im normally cheerful, smiling and laughing at anything and everything, but today is different.

YES! I know there's a million and one people who have things ten time worse then i do, but right now im the one dealing with this, and as it's so new, it's hard to grip it by the horns and direct it to where i want to go!

I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) aswell as the millions of women in the UK, It's also suspected that i have Endomitriosis aswell, so my hormones are everywhere!

I always feel like nobody ever understands, even though they do and there trying to help me, i have just been blocking everybody out living in my own little nest, just me and my thoughts.

It's as if im driving myself crazy! I need to man up, stand up and say 'NO you will not defeat me, i am strong and i will deal with this!' It's just taking me a long time to get to that point!

I'm the kind of person who will support anybody through anything, i will fight there corner till they get to the top, i will do what i can for them to acheive! Why can't i do this for myself! Am i weak? Am i scared? I don't no! Even my Dad said to me the other day 'Amy, how comes you always make sure everyone gets the best, but you never do it for yourself?' He's right you know!

That comment has been swirling in my mind for days! And now i really feel i need to do something about the situation i'm in! I know im not alone there 2 million other sufferers in the country who are going through and most probably thinking the exact same thing as me!!

But for now i need to build up the courage and stand my ground, do what i can to stop this pain, to stop the crying, the screaming, the nightmares.

I want to be back to normal.

My Life Living With Chronic Pain

I'd like to share my story with you all. 

The pain started when i was just 16 years old, before hand i always had heavy, painful periods lasting over 8 days, and having to wear 2 or more sanitary towels at a time.

On a weekend of shopping, i wasn't feeling to brilliant but carried on with my shopping anyway, suddenly i had an unbearable pain in my bum, between my legs and lower back causing me to collapse in the middle of the store.

I was then taken into A&E where they done tests on me and told me i was pregnant, i was really confused as i was still a virgin! And then they went on to tell me it was a urine infection, (i have no idea how they got both of them mixed up) as i was waiting for my antibiotics i noticed two nurses pointing at me and laughing, this made me feel so awful, so i just left as i was so upset!

This pain started becoming more frequent, getting them every month, i went to my family GP who told me it was completely normal! So i just left it at that.

My periods started becoming even more heavier, resulting in me having days and days off of school as i could barely walk, because so much blood was coming out of me!

I kept having this awful pains, but i refused to go to the hospital because of the treatment i received last time i went. I suffered on my own for 5 years as know one would listen to me.

At the age of 21 everything suddenly became 100 times worse, the pain reached the point where i couldn't even move or walk, I ended up fainting in the shower, causing injuries to myself and my mum who thankfully caught me. I was rushed by ambulance to A&E where i was kept in the SAU over night, they thought my appendix had burst. I was terrified.

After a number of tests i was told once again it was only a urine infection. But i knew there was so much more to it! I was giving pain killers and antibiotics. These made me incredibly ill as my body was rejecting them because i DIDN'T have a urine infection.

I went back to my GP who rang the local hospital to ask for my tests results to be sent over so she could look at them herself. Turned out that they done no tests what so ever and just assumed i had a urine infection, myself, my doctor and family were so angry and upset. 

I was sent to see a gynecologist in july 2011 who diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), i felt relieved to have a diagnosis! I was put on metformin, which made all the symptoms ease, but there was still something wrong, i was still in a massive amount of pain!

I went back to my GP who changed the metformin to the slow release metformin, this made my symptoms better, but i was still in a lot of pain, i just gathered that it was completely normal.

The next 4 months i was in and out of A&E being told the same thing every time, 'I'm sorry we don't know what is wrong so we can't help you'. I was utterly devastated when i heard this, feeling i had to suffer for the rest of my life.

For a treat after a really tough year, my mum treated me to a holiday in Egypt, unfortunately for the whole of the second week i was bed bound, in a hell of a lot of pain, and vomiting and i couldn't deal with it. The flight home was a disaster, the whole flight i was in agony and had my head in a bag :(.

When i finally got home i had to call in sick to work as i was in agony, the pain had got worse, Instead of once a month it was happening every other day! I couldn't cope! On the 11th of november 2011 i was once again rushed into A&E i woke up a 5.30 AM in the most excruciating pain i have ever felt in my life, i could not move my body at all, i was seen straight away as they knew it was very serious, i was again taken to the SAU, were tests were done, i was then sent to the Frensham ward were i felt very safe and they looked after me very well. I was kept in for one week.

Finally action was taken, Doctors had said that my symptoms and pain could be Endometriosis, i had done my research on the disease, telling my GP and Gyno that it could possibly be this, but they choose not to listen, there the doctors so they know best!

I'm happy people are finally listening, and taking notice, i am now waiting for a laparoscopy to determine that it is Endomitrosis, i have been signed off work for a few months, and now walk with one crutch when the pain gets to much, my hair is fining and falling out, I'm so upset and angry i had to wait this long and suffer until i got noticed, My advice to ladies is to really fight your corner and make people listen! I wish i did! 


Please Ladies, If you have any gynecological pain, DO NOT be embarrassed, go to you family GP and make sure they listen to you! Don't get fobbed off like i did, it may not be as bad as you think! :) 

Good luck to you all

And God bless


xxxxxxxxxx